I can explain!!!

[sexysensei]

Kin-chan. Listen. I'm sure it was a shock to see that. But I can explain. Please please just let me explain.

Comments

[zenzaip.livejournal.com]

What's up with you, Osamu?

Screened to Hikaru

[o-samu-chan.livejournal.com]

He saw something I never meant for anyone I know to see. I have to explain it to him.

Re: Screened to Osamu

[zenzaip.livejournal.com]

...You okay? Need a shoulder?

Re: Screened to Hikaru

[o-samu-chan.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I don't think I am. And I can't lie to you and say differently. And I don't even know if I can explain it to him. What he saw was...we'll just say it's not one of my prouder moments.

Re: Screened to Osamu

[zenzaip.livejournal.com]

Were you drunk or something? What's going on?

Re: Screened to Hikaru

[o-samu-chan.livejournal.com]

No. I was perfectly sober. I might have some excuse if I was drunk.

Hikaru. You have enough to worry about. With Senri and Kenya and the baby. Worry about them. Your old sensei will figure it out.

[ooc: he doesn't want to burden Zai with his problems]

Re: Screened to Osamu

[zenzaip.livejournal.com]

Just because I have other worries doesn't mean I stop worrying about you.

Re: Screened to Hikaru

[o-samu-chan.livejournal.com]

Maybe if I tell you, it'll be easier to explain to Kintarou. You've always been so easy to talk to.

Mind if I meet you somewhere and we talk?

Re: Screened to Osamu

[zenzaip.livejournal.com]

Don't mind at all. I'll stop by tonight, okay?

Re: Screened to Hikaru

[o-samu-chan.livejournal.com]

Okay.

[ooc: when Zai comes by, Osamu is going to sit down and tell him EVERYTHING. about his debt and about the stripper job and just sort of lay it out there for him]

Re: Screened to Hikaru

[zenzaip.livejournal.com]

[ooc: Hikaru will probably hit him...and then reassure him that he will stand by him no matter what.]

Screened to Osamu

[gekidazejanai.livejournal.com]

Did you get caught?

Re: Screened to Shishido

[o-samu-chan.livejournal.com]

...Yeah. I did. By a former student. A very loud excitable former student. If I don't explain, I'm going to end up losing my day job...

Re: Screened to Osamu

[gekidazejanai.livejournal.com]

Well, shit. Is there anything I can do to help you out?

Re: Screened to Shishido

[o-samu-chan.livejournal.com]

Pray? I mean, if I lose my job teaching, I can just go and do the other thing full time...but I don't want to. I love teaching. I love coaching. I don't want to give that up for anything. You understand that, right?

And at least it's Kin and not someone else. With my bad luck, it could have been some real pervert that would have blackmailed me for sexual favors in exchange for their silence.

[ooc: which WAS an idea at one point until I decided not to torture poor Osamu]

Re: Screened to Osamu

[gekidazejanai.livejournal.com]

You got it, man. I don't want you to lose your job, either. And there's no openings at Hyoutei you could try for, either. They were willing to overlook my previous career because I quit, but I don't know that you'd have the same luck.

[haratetsu.livejournal.com]

What did you do? Corrupting the young ones again, are we?

[ooc: He's joking. He thinks Kin caught Osamu at something embarrassing. This time he's the clueless one.]

[master-of-zen.livejournal.com]

...

I have read this several times now and fail to understand. And without understanding I would suppose that my next question has the potential to sound strange.

My question to you is this; What are you doing that you are so ashamed of? And if you are ashamed of what it is you are doing... why do you continue to do it?

[o-samu-chan.livejournal.com]

I really can't answer that question. At least not the first one. The second though, I can answer. Though it'll make even less sense.

I have to.

What he saw was not my choice but it is my responsibility and I must live with it. All I can do is hope he understands and that I haven't completely destroyed his image of his weird coach.

[master-of-zen.livejournal.com]

No, you do not have to. Because if you have to do something that you are ashamed of, then you are not the man I thought that I knew.

[o-samu-chan.livejournal.com]

I haven't been that man for a long time

I suppose you have a point.

I don't think I've ever lived with regret, ever. I suppose I shouldn't start now. Though that doesn't change the current situation.

[ooc: strikes very much deleted]

[master-of-zen.livejournal.com]

Is not the current situation one of regret? You regret being found out doing something that I imagine you know you should not, correct? And if you have done something to harm a young mans image of you, will you not regret that?

I also realise that this is of no concern of mine and I am intruding where I do not belong and giving opinions that were not asked for. My apologise.

[o-samu-chan.livejournal.com]

It is. Gin. It's the first time I've ever regretted anything. It's not a feeling I enjoy. And I know without a doubt he's never going to be able to look at me the same way again. Hell, he might not even be able to look at me at all.

.... Gin. Don't apologize. I'm sure your concern is warranted as a friend because I put that out there were everyone could see.

[master-of-zen.livejournal.com]

When you discover something new about a person you should expect some change.

Perhaps. Or perhaps not. My apology stands.

[o-samu-chan.livejournal.com]

I suppose you're right.

Then I accept your apology. And I apologize to you as well. Because I don't want to explain more to make it less confusing to you.

[master-of-zen.livejournal.com]

I have no right to ask for more and do not expect you to tell me. So it is fine.

[o-samu-chan.livejournal.com]

....Thank you.