Watanabe Osamu (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sexysensei) wrote2014-07-16 10:48 pm
sexysensei) wrote2014-07-16 10:48 pm
What am I thinking
I told myself I'd not go down this road. I've traveled it once before and I know where it ends up. But I still find myself packing my bags and hoping that old familiar bus. Because I really can't help myself when it comes to things like this.
Last night, I was far too close to just forgetting myself and kissing him. I know I shouldn't. I know he's never seen me as anything but his old sensei and his friend. I don't even know if he likes men in that way. But when I'm with him I feel happy and relaxed. I haven't felt that way since...well, for a long long time. I have the greatest urge to touch him whenever I can steal the chance and I find excuses to call him when there really are none.
I'm so used to being the chasee and not the chaser. But I want to try hard to be a man worthy of him. To be someone he might even like romantically, though I know I'm not the best catch. And I wonder what would happen if I had kissed him then...
I think I'm in trouble.
Last night, I was far too close to just forgetting myself and kissing him. I know I shouldn't. I know he's never seen me as anything but his old sensei and his friend. I don't even know if he likes men in that way. But when I'm with him I feel happy and relaxed. I haven't felt that way since...well, for a long long time. I have the greatest urge to touch him whenever I can steal the chance and I find excuses to call him when there really are none.
I'm so used to being the chasee and not the chaser. But I want to try hard to be a man worthy of him. To be someone he might even like romantically, though I know I'm not the best catch. And I wonder what would happen if I had kissed him then...
I think I'm in trouble.